Mother Update from Dick

WE WENT TO SEE JAN'S KIDNEY DOCTOR YESTERDAY. JAN WAS RELUCTANT TO GO. THE DOCTOR TOLD US THAT THE PROSPECT OF DIALYSIS IS NOT IN THE CARDS FOR THE IMEDIATE FUTURE. HER KIDNEY FUCNTION IS AT 20%. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PREDICT HOW FAST THE KIDNEYS WILL DECLINE, BUT IT WILL TAKE MONTHS, PERHAPS EVEN YEARS WITH WITH DIET AND PRAYER BEFORE DIALYSIS IS REQUIRED. DIALYSIS IS PRESCRIBED BELOW 15% KIDNEY FUNCTION. WE FELT SO MUCH BETTER AFTER HE MADE THAT CLEAR.


I AM STILL CONCERNED ABOUT THE OTHER SYMPTOMS OF POSSIBLE STROKE THAT HAS LEFT HER CONFUSED AND UNSTEADY ON HER FEET. BUT IT SEEMS SHE IS GETTING BETTER.

Always looking

Colburn says no matter how awful your parents are, you miss them after they're gone. My close friends know about my strained relationship with Mother. Most of them don't know anything about my father. She's easy to talk (complain) about; he is not.

Oddly enough, every day I check my email looking for one of Mother's irrational, disjointed, rambling emails, and I'm disappointed when there isn't one. This didn't just start with her dialysis announcement, I've been doing it for several months.

Now that she's probably dying, a few friends have said her dying is a good thing implying I'll be relieved at not having her around to make me miserable. Lately I've been getting defensive and wanting to say no, it's not a good thing - that's my mother you're talking about.

Funny how life can change on a dime, isn't it?

And the craziness takes a turn

Just got a voice mail from Mother on my cell phone (which doesn't work at my house) that she is going into the hospital tomorrow - for one day - to have the shunt put in for dialysis. This after her telling everyone she was not going on dialysis.

She wakes up in a new world every day. I'll say it again: If she was someone else's mother I'd find her charming.

I've had about all the fun I can handle for one day. Good night.

Dick's email - the one that alarmed me and started up this blog

[History: Dick is my mother's husband. Jan is my mother. She has Polycystic Kidney Disease, and her nephrologist wants her to get a shunt inserted to prep her for dialysis. She plans to decline dialysis, so I'm learning about end-of-life issues.]
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Date: Sun, 28 Mar 2010 07:26:22 EDT
Subject: JAN

MY JAN HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH KIDNEY FAILURE. SHE REFUSES TO GO ON DIALISIS. SHE SAYS SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY MACHINES.

WHILE THE REST OF US ARE FIGHTING PUTTING ON POUNDS, HER APPETITE IS SO LOW THAT SHE HAS LOST FIVE POUNDS JUST LAST WEEK.

SHE IS QUITE UNSTEADY ON HER FEET AND FALLS DOWN A LOT.

PLEASE KEEP HER IN YOUR PRAYERS